Monday, September 10, 2007

"I want to dance with you at my wedding, mom."

My oldest daughter told me this recently. I was so touched. I had tears well up in my eyes. While most of you may not know, I was married for many years and had 4 beautiful children. I divorced when the eldest was 10 and the youngest was 4. They've had no relationship with their father. He's just been too interested and consumed with himself and his own life. After we moved to Florida I think it was just easier for him to blame having no interest in their lives on me. Saying that I wouldn't allow him to see them. Which isn't true. But anyway, they've had a hard time with it all. I can't even imagine what its like not to be Daddy's Princess, since I myself have such a wonderful father. There have been many times I have watched them walking down the beach or even just laughing and having fun and my heart just ached for them. I have wanted to so badly to be both mom and dad. I used to think I could be. But soon found out there is a stronger reason than I had understood that God gives us both. We will be for lack of a better term, forever fractured. So when I came across this picture from I can't even remember where, of this mother and daughter dancing at her wedding...I "got it." Isn't it a lovely picture. Can't you just here Marina McBride singing In My Daughter's Eyes now?

13 comments:

sle said...

It's always such a loss for the "absent parent" when they ignore their children. I tend to believe they often realize it but by that time it's too late and the damage is done. Just from what little I "know" you have done a wonderful job with your children and they know how lucky they are to have you. So I say DANCE ON!

The Charmed Life Online said...

You must be an amazing mother. You are so wise to recognize that you can't be both Mom and Dad, even though it hurts to admit it. God is the only perfect father and I pray that they run to Him when they need what only a daddy can provide.

Tickled Pink & Green said...

Okay, you're going to make me cry, and I just put on mascara! Your children are so lucky to have you! You are remarried right? Does your new husband take part in their lives? Just tell me if that is too personal.

And how did you get that song to play? Love it!

suburban prep said...

What a lovely thing to hear from your child.

Southern Fried Girl said...

How wonderful that one of your kids said that. You must be doing something right. :)

Kristin said...

That is the sweetest thing I have read. I pray your daughter dances with you at her wedding.Thanks for sharing your thoughts from a Moms heart. I grew up very much like your daughter and I want you to know that God can fill up all of those missing heart pieces to the full and even bring peace and even great smiles. I pray God fills all of your sweet children's lives to the full and that he always gives you more than enough hope and love to surround their hearts with. What a sweet Mom you are.

There is this great verse in the bible that is great and good to know. Thought you might like.

But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to
take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the
helper of the fatherless.
-- Psalm 10:14

Paige (Blog:The Sweetest Thing) and I have been kindred friends since college years. Hence how I came across your lovely blog.

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

Beautifully stated. You are quite lovely too. Sounds like you're doing a fine job mom.

Lori said...

It is lovely and I hope that is you and your daughter one day...
What a beautiful post and what a special thing for your daughter to say!
Seems like you have some amazing children, I'm sure you're doing a GREAT job!
I just sent you an email asking about your children, now I know! :D

Jaime said...

Such a beautiful post, I got teary eyed reading it ;)

Tres Poshe Preppy said...

So sweet! Being a great mom is all we can hope to be (I hope I get to be a mom someday, someday soon!) and from what your daughter said, it sounds like you have exactly done just that!

yummy411 said...

that truly was a touching story! what an honor for your daughter to ask to dance with you at her wedding!

Southern Sugar said...

Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean so much. And Kristin, I passed along your post to my girls. Sometimes I worry what the long term affects of his absence will mean as they get older. But reading your words gives me hope that my prayers that they will heal and not be bitter will come to fruition.

Kimber said...

Beautiful post! Sounds like you are an amazing mother!

Kim